Our Family is Together…. Forever!
“Our family began in 2010 when we were blessed with our first son through adoption. For many years we wanted to adopt again and add to our family. But adopting through the US foster care system was not working after many years of trying, so we decided to give international adoption a try. We felt comfortable with the idea of adopting from Costa Rica since we had connections there already. We had previously visited there in 2017 which was a year after Troy’s grandfather passed away. He had been one of the first Methodist missionaries to open up Costa Rica in 1950 and had lived there ever since. We were able to visit Troy’s stepgrandmother that year, and as we did so we fell in love with the beautiful country and had a wonderful experience.
Upon returning back to the states following our vacation and calling a few adoption agencies, we were told that adopting from Costa Rica is a rare event and were asked if we had ever considered adopting from Colombia. Driven by our preconceptions of Colombia, we quickly answered with a firm, ‘No, thank you’. We felt that we were definitely not interested in adopting from Colombia and decided that we would just continue our search to complete our family through the US foster care system.
As the days and weeks passed little events began to happen that repeatedly pointed us to Colombia. The Spirit whispered to us in songs, in events, in places, and through other people that Colombia was where our children were waiting for us. It was miraculous and evident that the Lord had focused our eyes to recognize the door opening in front of us. Although we had originally said no to Colombia, He was beckoning us to say yes and move forward with faith in that direction.
After we made the decision to adopt from Colombia it seems like the right doors continued to open and the wrong doors continued to shut, which showed us the way. We were able to choose the right agency and get the required paperwork completed. We were able to save the money needed for travel and the adoption paperwork.
One of the biggest challenges was waiting. We inquired about a few different children as we waited. On several different occasions, we were quite hopeful that we had found our children. However, those situations were not to be. When those doors shut it was painful but we had faith that God knew what He was doing and would place those children where they ultimately needed to be and that if we were to have children from Colombia, we needed to have faith that it would happen in due time.
We often reflected on 10 years prior, when we experienced miracles in welcoming our first son, just after his birth, into our family. We knew Heavenly Father was in charge then and that if we did everything we could on our end He would make things turn out the way they should - whether we ended up adding to our family or not.
When the Covid-19 Pandemic hit we started to think that we might not end up being able to adopt from Colombia after all based on all the unknowns with the state of the world and perhaps we just needed to chalk it up as one of life’s many lessons learned. We began to consider getting on a different path that didn’t include more children as part of our earthly journey.
So we were surprised when in April of 2021 we received a call saying we had been chosen to be the parents of not one, but two more boys! We felt this was the door we’d been waiting on being opened for us and we said yes.
During the height of COVID in Colombia and throughout our month-long trip as we completed the adoption process there, we definitely experienced highs and lows. At times we experienced periods of gratitude and excitement while at other times we questioned if we were indeed still on the right path. Prayer, a priesthood blessing, trying hard to listen to the Spirit, and focusing on our goal of being an eternal family helped us through our difficult times.
One of the homes we lived in while we were in Colombia when we were going through the toughest times, not knowing if we’d be there another week, another month or longer, had lots of signs on the walls that had scriptural references. It felt like Heavenly Father had placed them there just for us- to give us the hope we needed at that certain time. It was a blessing and further evidence to us that we were on the right path and we felt at peace deep down that everything would be okay.
So now, here at home, we are trying to live our lives close to the Savior while trying to establish relationships that didn’t get built naturally through the process of raising these boys from newborn babies. There is a lot to try and make up for, but luckily, they are still malleable….and we have learned from them that we too need to be more malleable ourselves. We are all just trying to be like Jesus and while it is often very hard, and we feel like we don’t quite have the hang of things just yet, we’re getting there little by little together.
Every now and then we get a glimpse of what it could be like to live consistently happy together as a family. It’s usually when we’re all focused on something fun together- like watching a funny show or playing a silly board game, or learning about a gospel topic together during family home evenings. Those are some of the times that now confirm our path.
We also remember the priesthood blessing when we were in Colombia. These are the children meant for us and we are the parents and family meant for them. They are our children. We just hold on to that and keep living each day. We remember all of the special experiences that led us to our path and all those special experiences that kept us going through the doors that were opened to us along our journey. And each day does seem to be better than the one before….at least the weeks seem better as we move forward…there are hiccups in the road….but we seem to be getting through them.
The entire process has greatly strengthened our faith because we know we were led by God with every step. After all of the trainings, fingerprinting, interviews, and paperwork, then more trainings, fingerprinting, interviews, and paperwork year after year for the greater part of 20 years we felt deep down that we had a family to put together and were willing to do whatever the Lord asked us to do. Colombia was the last place we ever considered in our adoption journey. When we gained a testimony that that was the place, all the fears subsided and we felt we had a mission to complete. We had to put aside the fears others expressed on our behalf and complete our mission regardless of what others feared for us. Since returning home, we no longer feel like our family is incomplete.
While the boys were a little hesitant at first about attending church every Sunday, it has been a miracle to see how they have embraced the gospel. We are grateful to have witnessed the hand of the Lord in our lives and are excited to see how He will continue to bless us as we are able to go to the temple and continue to grow closer together as a family.
UPDATE: We went to the Temple and were sealed on April 29th, 2022. As we walked down the long hallway to the family room to prepare for our sealing, the temple ordinance worker said, “Sorry, it’s a really long walk.” I responded, “How very appropriate” and began to cry at the magnitude of this milestone. I then heard the words speaking to my Spirit confirming, “You are with the right people, in the right place at the right time.” and my heart just smiled. When we reached the family room all laid out and waiting for us were three little white ties, three little white pairs of socks, and three little pairs of white pants for each of our three “little” boys. It felt as if the heavens knew this moment would come and had prepared for us all along, knowing we’d make it there. The spirit was strong. After we were sealed together in the beautiful sealing room of the temple all five of us embraced in a hug that felt like we were the center of a spiritual dogpile. Although the five of us were there without anyone else in attendance that we actually knew, we felt surrounded by loved ones. It was awesome!“
To sum it all up, this is the scripture that has helped us through our journey to become a family . . .
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
Troy & Jen, Glenville Ward