Striving to Do ‘All The Things’ . . . and Keep Trying to Smile!
“I don't think my experience is all that unique from a lot of members, I was born into the church but as a teenager decided that I needed to get my own testimony, so I read the Book of Mormon and prayed about it and got my confirmation as to the truthfulness of the gospel. I often struggle to do "all the things" we should i.e. prayer, scripture study but I always feel Heavenly Father's presence in my life and his guidance even when I use prayer as a "panic button". I feel a closeness that is real and constant as long as I am making the best efforts I can be!!
Some days I honestly don't know what keeps me going every day! I am a single mom to a 20 year old, an almost 16 year old and almost 11 year old. I work full time as a Veterinary Technician, help a friend with daily shots on her cats and help another friend at least once a week at her barn. Most days I just want to hide.😉🙂 But I know that my kindness and example are a great strength to myself and my family and friends. I have seen the blessings over and over in my life from helping others and making the right choice. And someday there will be an explanation for why my life didn't "work out the way I had planned". And even though things aren't as I had "dreamed" of, I see that I am on the path that I should be on and I look forward to seeing where it will lead.
There have been many blessings I have received through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Even though my temple marriage ended in divorce I have seen the Lord's hand in my life. I have three great kids that drive me nuts but I love every one of them and I wouldn't have had them in my life if I had chosen differently. I have felt the strength the Lord has given me to make some hard choices, and I have felt his comfort as I have had to live with those hard choices. He has blessed me with a career that I find rewarding and sufficient to meet my needs. I have learned that paying tithing is an amazing blessing even though it can be hard to do! I have seen my kids have a good foundation in the church even though they may make other choices as they grow up. And just knowing that all we go through here on earth will be worth it keeps me going.
As I said previously,I don't really do all the things that we "should do“ to keep my testimony strong, I have plans to start all those things but just don't seem to have been able to implement them consistently. But I still feel the love and guidance of Heavenly Father even though I don't do "all the things", I just keep trying to be kind and help others and make the right choice . . . and keep trying to smile!”
-Paula Newbank, Greenville Branch
