Living Christlike Attributes

Courtney Elizabeth Mahar, 26, of Cobleskill, NY passed away tragically Wednesday, April 6th as a result of an auto accident on the NYS Thruway.

Courtney was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Schoharie Valley Ward in Central Bridge, where she was serving as a leader in the young women’s program.

Courtney’s smile could light up a room. She was kind to everyone, making each person she talked to feel important. Courtney lived her life to the fullest. She tried to be the best person she could be. Everything she did was to the best of her ability. You could tell what she believed by the way she lived as a quiet example of Jesus Christ and his unconditional love for us.

The Young Women’s Theme that is taught here in church is - We will “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.

The character traits of Courtney followed these values. But her character traits easily fell into what scouts know as the scout law.

She was Trustworthy. Ask any of her best friends if she ever betrayed a confidence with them, the answer was likely no.

Which means she was Loyal . . . to all. Friends, family, teammates, co-workers, even brands – if Apple put out a device, she was all about it.

Helpful. She was always looking to help others and she was concerned for them. She helped friends and strangers, grandparents, parents, and cousins. She was tech support for so many family members, classmates, and co-workers.

Friendly. She was also friendful. She had lots of friends. Most everyone loved her. How could she have so many best friends? Because they all mattered to her and she made them know it. She loved them all, truly and they all knew it. Whether it was by being a partner in mischief at Girls Camp, a long reunion hug in the middle of Walmart, talking to you until you arrived safely at your destination while driving, or a quick text to let you know she cared. Her friends mattered and she set the bar for what a friend should be . . . share, care, serve, laugh, and love.

Courteous. Some might think this is silly, but Courtney rarely ate the last piece of anything, even if she wanted it. Maybe she didn’t want to get in trouble for doing it, but she waited until she had permission. Courtney was very considerate of others.

Kind. We knew part of the story, but going through some of her papers we found some loose diary pages that she had saved. There were a few mentions of a girl named Caroline and it read out like some kind of afterschool special. She was new in school having just moved in and Courtney was worried that she didn’t have friends so in her diary she said she would make sure that she would be her friend. She wanted to make sure that Caroline had a friend or at least someone to talk to.

Obedient. Boy was she obedient. She was the rule follower through and through. She didn’t even want people to think she might possibly have slightly infringed on the centerline in volleyball. Any time her foot approached that line she would look at the ref for a call.

Cheerful. This lately has been a little struggle. When I would say “Have a Great Day” the response was often “Don’t tell me what to do.” Thankfully, there was a little wry smile. In public where it counted, she was pleasant and cheerful to all.

Thrifty. If something was upgraded in the house she would question it, “What’s wrong with the one we have?” And she paid off her car years in advance and didn’t want to move out until she paid down her student loan debt. She had a good job, but she had a budget that she checked often to make sure she wasn’t deviating from it too much. Her family would tell her that she had the money to purchase things, but she would say that it wasn’t in her budget. Even though she was thrifty, she did use her money for things she enjoyed.

Brave. Although she often was called “chicken baby,” she was brave. She was brave in her testimony. She was brave in the face of uncomfortable situations and ready and willing to stand up to the injustices that she saw. She also was brave in that she went to a school in an unfamiliar city. She didn’t want to be in a city. She didn’t want to ride the subway . . . on and on. She faced them and did amazing. She was brave in accepting an invitation to help change a college population that was predominantly male (around 80%).

Clean. All who knew her know she was clean. She was clean on the outside and clean on the inside. She truly tried to live in a way that would make her comfortable if she was in the presence of the Lord. She would never utter a word that would leave her sullied . . . even some non-curse words made her uncomfortable. She would even try to enforce this on others – even resorting to violence (a playful punch in the arm to various offenders).

Reverent. No question there. She had a strong testimony of the restored gospel and lived it. There were some who told her that she had to go to a church school – it was the only way. When she decided she wanted to study architecture it was hard. The BYUs did not have an accredited architecture program. She was told to go somewhere accredited. It was a hard decision. Then a great young women leader told her that she was strong enough to go anywhere. Wentworth fit the bill and rarely did she miss church. It was an intimidating 40-minute train ride to church, one way, often alone. She went and was as active as a busy architecture student could be.

Courtney was not afforded the opportunity to be married in the temple and she was not able to have children, but in a way, Courtney did have a baby. She was the lead architect/designer on a project and it is almost complete. It is her creation. She is leaving a piece of her behind and we will be able to see it when it’s finished.

So, here are the final instructions from Courtney . . .

She wished everyone hugged more – so hug those you love more often.

Don’t care too much what people think – Be you.

Put the time in to build friendships – be present.

Love unconditionally. And when someone tells you to have a great day . . . just tell them “Don’t tell me what to do”, but don’t forget the wry smile.